i dedicated my morning wood to you.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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