so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
