It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
