So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
