just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
