Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
