There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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