Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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