Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
