I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize