i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
