You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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