I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
