why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Pants are for mortals
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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