Im at strip club and am horny
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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