I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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