Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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