Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
