We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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