He had one of those small greek statue penises
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize