New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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