he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Randomize