I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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