If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
