i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
