I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
