Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
