that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
