Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
