Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
