this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
