my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
