So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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