I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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