Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize