He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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