I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
