There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
