We named our party play list daddy issues
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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