Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
