I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
