awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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