I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
