Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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