You really coming over, don't trick.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
