I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
