sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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