i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize