She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
