It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
