3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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