my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
