You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
