Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
