Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
