Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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