tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
