i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
