i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
