I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
