i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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