did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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