Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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