Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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